Building an Effective Mentoring Relationship For Career Development

In the Myths of Mentoring, the difference between coaching and mentoring was discussed and many of the assumptions made about mentors and mentoring relationships were examined. .

But how do you build an effective mentoring relationship? Mentoring is about sharing knowledge and experience with an individual, and, in this case, helping them improve career success. Mentoring builds communication skills for the mentor, as well as providing them with a experience that is viewed positivelyby organizations for their own career development.An individual who is mentoring another is, and is acknowledged to be, a leader and an expert in their field.

Brown University asked many professional experts at a consortium of mentors "what makes a good mentor?" and this was one answer:

"Mostly, it's a person who is willing to share of themselves. Most people aren't mentors because they don't put the time in, they don't remember what it's like to be in vulnerable positions - just starting out as a student or as a professor or in some other endeavor. You don't learn the ropes anywhere except in a mentoring situation. Mentors are role models - not necessarily in a familial relationship. It's someone you can look up to in a field you want to model yourself in. A good mentor is a person who lives an exemplary life. Sometimes you can be a mentor and not even know it." - George Odell, professor of archeology, University of Tulsa.

When entering a formal or informal mentoring relationship, there are many factors to making it effective and successful. We'll explore a few here:

Mentoring in the Best of Times and the Worst of Times

No matter what shape the economy is in, how the industry is forecasted, or what is on the horizon for market demands, when it comes to identifying a just-in-time, time-efficient and cost effective way to develop people...it's mentoring.
If your organization is going through changes right now including a major downsizing due to the economic environment, now is the time to initiate a Mentoring Process.
Why now? Many organizations feel like the timing has to be just right before they can initiate projects. Sometimes that can be true - but mentoring is an initiative that is different. If the organization is downsizing, many things can happen to your knowledge capital:

Mentoring As an Essential Component of Recovery

I can sum up my own recovery from anorexia and bulimia with four words - relationships replace eating disorders.

When I became ill with anorexia at the age of eleven, I didn't know how to tell my parents what felt so wrong inside of me, and they didn't know what to say to help me open up to them. When they applied to our family pediatrician for help, he advised them that it was best not to discuss it with me and reassured them that I would soon grow out of it. My father, unhappy with this wait-and-see approach, then called the insurance company and was tersely informed that "eating problems" were not covered under the family policy. Left with only my pediatrician's advice to go by, my parents decided to keep silent.

What this meant was that the voice of the eating disorder was the only one talking to me on a regular basis, giving me confident-sounding advice about how to deal with life's daily challenges. And I, in my isolation and loneliness, became all too willing to listen. By the time I was a freshman music major in college, I was beginning to struggle with bulimia as well.

Then, scarcely two months after I had arrived at college, the tendons in my hands gave out under the strain of my piano practice schedule.  I was left with no choice but to withdraw from college and return home. My mother quickly located a physical therapist for me. She drove me to Annie's* office every week.

It didn't take Annie long to figure out that there was more going on with me than just hand injuries. One day, at my weekly session, she gently asked if I was okay. I opened my mouth to reassure her that all was well...and it all came spilling out-the fear of food, the hopelessness, the loss of my music, the loneliness that made me long to curl up and die. Amazingly, Annie asked if there was anything she could do to help.

Even more amazingly, I said "yes".

Since neither Annie nor I knew that much about eating disorders recovery, we embarked upon a learning quest together. Together, we began to brainstorm ways I could overcome my fear of food. She helped me find some local support groups and encouraged me to go. She shared books that had inspired her. We talked and she got to know me, which made all the difference in my daily willingness and ability to do the hard work of recovery.